≡ Menu

Poop Burger Hoax: Catchy Meat Alternative Or Just Plain Nauseating?

Turd burger

Mitsuyuki Ikeda, a Japanese scientist at the Environmental Assessment Center in Okayama, developed a “meat substitute” made from human waste. It consists of 63% proteins, 9% minerals and 3% lipids. This scientist believes his poop burgers could one day be sold in grocery stores as an alternative to real meat, the production of which wreaks havoc on the environment and costs an obscene amount of money.

Except, despite many respected blogs reporting on it, we are going out on a limb and saying it’s not true (except for the information about real meat). After watching that video, watch this guy go through the minute details of it, such as why there is no way we could sanitize poop, the inconsistencies in the video, plus the fact that there is no legitimate source outside of the video claiming the validity.

Despite the fact that poop burgers aren’t real, I still put a bit of thought into what fun they could be for vegetarians.

If you’re a vegetarian, I’m sure you understand what a pain family barbecues can be. You either bring your own veggie burgers to slap on the grill or settle for some lukewarm potato salad, runny jello and booze, LOTS OF BOOZE. Your family gets all weird that you don’t want an intestine-cased hot dog and you try and figure out how you’re related to people that eat animal skin when they have no idea what is involved in the process.

This could be a fun way to really blow their minds. Bring in a box of poop burgers and say “oh don’t worry, I’m cooking up my own meal today.” When you’re chowing down and they want to know what your “fake burgers” are made of, show them the box.

The looks on their faces will be priceless when they realize their meat was cooked next to patties of poop, but you’ll be the one laughing because even though you’re eating the remnants of my septic tank, it’s still healthier and better for the environment than the cholesterol-packed red meat they’re stuffing their faces with (that is, IF all of this was true).

Curious about the environmental impact of meat consumption? Here’s some information. As one of the top three contributors to serious environmental problems, it’s great that the thought of meat substitutes is getting out in the open, even if it’s a hoax that involves a toilet plunger and septic tank.

And trust me; if you’ve never tried a veggie burger, you’re missing out. Replace regular burgers with some Boca Burgers and the remnants of your sewage will be much cleaner, if you know what I mean.

8 comments… add one

Leave a Comment